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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2023 19:44:05 GMT
The hurt was written all over his sparkling face plate when she lifted it, plainly displayed for him to see. It was hard for him to decide what to do next. He was a military strategist, most of his emotional interactions had been to manipulate for his greater good. Selfish is something he knew how to handle but being selfless? Not something he had practiced often. For the better of his sparkling, a responsibility he chose, his processor reminded him, Starscream would try.
First thing was deciding where to start. There was so much that happened that was his fault, the way he handled things hadn’t been the proudest moves of his life. His end goal did come true, however. He was safe and Nightshroud was safe. One more reason he wanted to escape from this cursed mudball, living in a constant state of War was weighing on him but he was not going back in a cage.
Over his deactivated frame.
“I know, little dove. A lot happened. Would you… like to… talk? About it?” Not his best, the tone was left to desire but it was a small step. One pede in front of the other and they’d somehow end up with less trauma and a solid trine. Or so he hoped.
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Post by Nightshroud on Jun 10, 2023 20:09:17 GMT
Nightshroud shuddered as Starscream spoke, unable to completely read him. She couldn't tell if he was upset with her or concerned. Either way he was trying to get her to talk about what had upset her. "I'm fine." Even as she spoke the femme's voice trembled, making it it painfully obvious that she wasn't being completely honest. "I'm.." Her voice filled with static, Nightshroud felt overwhelmed once again before she found herself crying again. "I'm not okay.."
Tears continued to stream down the femme’s faceplate as she gritted her denta, vents hitching as she failed to calm herself. She knew she needed to let it all out, and she knew she was technically breaking Starscream’s first rule by not being completely honest about her feelings. She felt they didn’t matter, but Starscream wasn’t going to relent until she gave in.
And that’s when it all spilled out. Everything spilled out all at once.
“I-it was Skyfire.. He.. he told me I wasn’t equipped to help you with what you were suffering with. I’d told him you’d helped me.. That I needed you, and he didn’t care. He didn’t care! He threatened to have you moved so I would never find you..” Nightshroud choked, shuddering as she continued. “He wanted me to suffer.. he wanted me to be alone. He didn’t care that you helped me. He didn’t care that you are the only one who made me feel safe! Instead he forced me to talk to Clematis just to keep you safe!” The crimson seeker sobbed, shaking hard. “I felt.. I felt like I’d hurt you when I told you about what he’d said about you.. and I felt like nothing I did helped.. so when I saw Soundwave come in, and you not only calmed down but shifted all focus to him, I..”
She couldn’t bring herself to finish her thought, but it was clear how she’d felt. She felt like Soundwave was proving how useless she was.. how she’d only made everything worse.
Nightshroud closed her optics tightly, whimpering. “I was forced to try and save you with no plan at all. Skyfire threatened me.. and Mire abandoned me. The one time I thought I might be able to trust someone other than you and she left me.. after saying she’d help! I don’t know if she snuck in and opened the cells.. I don’t know what happened, but I was scared. I couldn’t lose you even though I knew I was likely not going to make it back out.”
But she couldn’t stop. Her feelings kept spilling out, and maybe there was a small part of her that had felt hurt because of Starscream. “I was so scared I’d lost you again when we split up. I was scared that everything I had done was for nothing.. That I’d failed you.. That I’d done something wrong.” Why had he even gone back?! Nightshroud still didn’t understand and the more she dwelled on it the more she realized she did feel hurt by that choice.
But despite that hurt, she couldn’t bring herself to hate her adopted sire for it. He’d at least made it out safely.
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Post by Soundwave on Jun 10, 2023 20:17:24 GMT
Despite it all Soundwave had recharged fairly, but the sound of Nightshroud speaking loudly stirred him from recharge. Even Ravage lifted his helm for a moment to watch the two seekers speak, but Soundwave kept his visor lights off to make it seem like he was still fast asleep. Instead he was listening in as the femme spoke of what troubled her. It was certainly better than trying to peer into her processor, but it served to confirm one thing for him.
What Skyfire had told the young femme was merely a barb planted to be set off at a later time, and Soundwave had unintentionally triggered it.
The femme sounded more hurt than angry, and perhaps that was a decent starting point that the Spymaster could use to try and get her to trust him a little more. If he could just prove to her that he wasn't trying to undermine her efforts to calm Starscream at all. It'd been a matter of him knowing ways to relax Starscream while they were trapped together, and Nightshroud didn't know those tactics. He'd never meant for her to feel hurt by that, but he was curious what she was about to say before she'd cut herself off. If her statements were true, it sounded as if Mire would not be coming after all. Disheartening to say the least, but there was nothing the former communications officer could do about that.
Right now, he knew that Starscream would likely know the best ways of calming Nightshroud down. She dismissed Soundwave's previous attempts, so if the former Air Commander couldn't get through to her he didn't know who else could.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 10, 2023 23:22:22 GMT
Starscream listened patiently, gently patting Nightshroud and letting her vent her spark out. She had been keeping so much inside for so long, he was kind of proud to see her open up. Her feelings were valid, much of what she was reproaching him had been in his processor for a long time.
But Skyfire. What he did is unforgivable. It’s one thing to have Optimus Prime fist puppeteering you through your aft but threaten his sparkling the way he did?
Starscream had been shocked at the cold and calculating way the Shuttle had threatened him in the G.H.O.S.T. cage, could never ever have imagined that the Autobot would go around being this brutal to everyone.
“Don’t beat yourself too hard. The plan was for you to get into G.H.O.S.T., I never asked you to come with a way out too. War has beaten into me that plans need to adapt and evolve; the jailbreak was a perfect example of this. You never know how things will turn out, no matter how you try to control or plan it. The best you can do is appreciate what you have now. Because trust me sparkling. It all can go away so quickly. I knew I could make it out safely but I couldn’t say the same about your sister. I would have never forgiven myself if she’d had been rounded up and you’d have to go through…”
Starscream faltered. How could he even approach the subject of how his time was spent while he was away from Nightshroud.
“They torture people down there… G.H.O.S.T. If they had gotten their hands on your sister, there’s no telling what those filthy organics would do to her. What it would have done to you. So yes, I asked you to leave because it was the best thing for you. Your safety is my priority, whenever you like it or not. You can deactivate. I can’t. No matter how bad things get, I can promise you I’ll always come back. Primus really doesn’t want me back in the well.”
He chuckled, trying to make light of the rather dramatic reveal.
“As for Mirage, I am sorry to hear that she was not reliable. Promise me one thing however. Don’t let this make you close up again. It’s important to have relationships of all kind to stay sane, my sparkling. You kept me sane when I found you. Soundwave kept me sane while I was in the cage. One does not negate the other. What you did, how you changed my spark, Skyfire will never know. He doesn’t know me anymore, whatever he says are manipulating lies. I love you. You are enough. Always.”
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Post by Nightshroud on Jun 11, 2023 23:52:56 GMT
Just getting all that out, despite the tears, Nightshroud did feel a little bit better. She'd bottled everything up for so long and had no one that she could rely on or trust while Starscream was missing. Mire had been the closest thing to that, but Nightshroud hadn't trusted her enough by the time the femme vanished. Having Starscream back meant she was safe and she could relax, but she needed to get these feelings out and make sure her adopted sire still actually wanted her around. Why would he when he had someone like Soundwave around?
So it came as a pleasant surprise when the former air commander not only listened to her with great care, but also did his best to assuage her illogical fears and worries; the pain she'd suffered as a result from the separation but also Skyfire's cruel words.
Nightshroud ex-vented softly, softly whimpering as the lubricant tears slowed while Starscream did his best to comfort the femme. She was both surprised and somewhat annoyed when he had brought up Clematis and how he had returned to help her. She'd wanted to leave her twin down there, so why bother going back for her? Clematis had hurt her! It was only as her sire continued to speak that things started to make a little more sense. He'd done it because he knew what G.H.O.S.T. was doing. That they were torturing bots and he was concerned that if they chose to do the same with crimson seeker's twin that it would ultimately affect her too. Fragging split spark bond.. The older mech was right to be concerned given that through that bond Nightshroud would feel physical pain that Clematis felt as well; it wasn't just thoughts and feelings. Glancing aside, the subject matter made the femme feel something she hadn't anticipated feeling:
Regret, or at least a minimal amount of it.
Though something else caught Nightshroud's attention, pulling her from those thoughts as Starscream seemed to imply something peculiar. She could deactivate, but he could.. not? The femme made a confused sound, trying to understand just what it was he meant by that. How could he possibly know that he couldn't go offline? It didn't seem possible to her, and it wasn't for lack of faith. Of course she'd want to believe Starscream, but she just couldn't quite understand what he was trying to say. Still, his request for her not to close her spark off because of Mire was rather touching and her spark swirled with joy when he told her that he loved her.
"I.. I love you too, sire. I love you so much.. T-thank you.. I'll try. I'll try not to close myself off for you. For you and me." Nightshroud smiled weakly for a moment, feeling herself calming down a bit more before that smile faded back into concern. "But.. how do you know? How do you know you can't deactivate? That it's not just some lucky streak and that next time will be the time you actually re-join the Well of Allsparks?" The crimson seeker looked to him with slight worry, hoping he would explain more of what he meant. If he really couldn't die..
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Post by Soundwave on Jun 11, 2023 23:59:17 GMT
Soundwave could not have been more proud of Starscream in that moment as he lay there silently, listening in on his conversation with Nightshroud. For a mech once uncaring and manipulative, it was strange to hear him trying his hardest to comfort his adopted sparkling. The start might have been rocky, but Starscream succeeded in calming the femme down.
Just as the femme had been, the Spymaster grew curious when the former second in command mentioned something about not being able to deactivate; that Primus did not want him to return to the Well of Allsparks. Had the rumors been true? Could it be that Starscream really was immortal? It was true that Megatron had been quite brutal with his second in command and that Starscream managed to get back up when many thought he was down for the count, but if such a rumor was true then it was both intriguing and terrifying all the same. It meant that while he could never truly be defeated by his adversaries, he would be made to suffer; to watch any and all loved ones die while forced to carry on no matter what he might be feeling.
Part of Soundwave hoped it hadn't been true for that reason alone.
If nothing else, at least the femme was calmed down now and didn't seem to be in as much of a panic as she had been moments ago. Starscream officially had Soundwave's approval for being a good sire.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 12, 2023 0:41:06 GMT
Despite the focus on his sparkling, Starscream had to glance behind him at Soundwave when the question of his deactivation came up. With a sigh he turned his helm back toward his sparkling, pondering on how to approach that subject.
“I know, I am quite certain. Megatron tried really hard to deactivate me. G.H.O.S.T. also tried for a while. It’s quite mundane for me now. Happens once in a while, my spark always comes back. Don’t ask me how many times, I lost count.”
He shrugs, trying to diminish the horrible pain and atrocious suffering accompanying deactivation and even sometimes, his random roaming like a lost spark for Primus know how long. He tried his best to think about something else, not wanting Soundwave to dig in his memories and see all the horrible things that were done to him and how he had to cope with it.
“That’s how I can make that promise to you. That’s why certain risks are acceptable for me but not for you. I’ll always come back. Always have, always will.”
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Post by Nightshroud on Jun 14, 2023 2:07:31 GMT
The moment Starscream looked back toward Soundwave Nightshroud grew concerned. She had no clue how he was going to answer her question, or if he even had intention to do so. There was no way that a bot just couldn't die, because they were all meant to return to the well one day, but she couldn't just discount what her adoptive sire had to say either. He could tell her the most asinine thing and she would believe him without question, but this.. It was almost too much. How could he be so certain that he just couldn't be terminated?
So when she got that answer, she was floored.
Megatron and GHOST had.. tried numerous times to bring him offline? The former hadn't surprised her with what little she knew about Starscream as it was, but the latter. Nightshroud didn't know if she felt hurt or shocked; maybe both. Because it had taken her so long to find him, he had suffered that much along with whatever torture he'd mentioned. Nightshroud didn't want to know the details and she had no intention of asking for the mech to elaborate. All she knew was either her sire was insanely lucky, or he really couldn't deactivate. Even if the former air commander really was immortal, that brought about a new feeling of dread and worry in the young femme's spark: No matter what, Starscream was going to end up alone. She'd offline and he'd still be forced to exist.
The thought alone was virtually unbearable.
On the other servo, for the first time in millions of years Nightshroud actually was curious about Starscream's spark. She wanted to study it, though only with his permission. She had been a spark researcher after all, and it had been her task to find new means of lengthening their already ridiculously long lifespans. Still, she hesitated and didn't want to ask such a thing of her sire. The last thing she wanted was to be insensitive, so instead the crimson seeker nestled in just a little bit closer.
"I don't want to leave you alone.. and I don't want to lose you either. I don't think I could handle it again." Nightshroud sighed softly, letting her optics close. "I just want to get off this planet. I'm just.. so tired of us having to suffer."
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Post by Soundwave on Jun 14, 2023 2:14:32 GMT
For the first time in awhile, Soundwave had information that he honestly didn't know what to do with. Learning of Starscream's plight was shocking, but it didn't entirely surprise him all the same. The spymaster had heard rumors; whispers amongst the troops that Starscream had to be immortal or something. He himself had witnessed time and again the ire of Megatron and just how brutal he could be when enraged, yet Starscream still stood. Abandon him, trap him, blow him up.. nothing seemed to hinder the former second in command in the least. It made absolutely no sense.
Hearing Starscream confirm that he could not be terminated.. both made sense and didn't all the same.
There was no other possible way he could keep coming back from everything he had endured. It meant that ultimately Starscream would be forced to watch all those around him perish while he continued to walk forward whether he wanted to or not. It was tragic, and for as silent as he tended to be Soundwave was left speechless. Just what was one meant to say? It seemed that Nightshroud wasn't certain either, but the blue mech would settle for the fact that she seemed to have finally calmed down significantly. One less thing to worry about in that moment.
Finally deciding to power on his visor, Soundwave looked to the two seekers. "So it is true then."
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Post by Deleted on Jun 19, 2023 22:32:09 GMT
Starscream ex-vented when Nightshroud curled up against him, bringing her closer to his frame. His spark broke as his process imagined his poor sparkling all alone at night with her nightmares, no one to take care of her wings, to be there for her and love her. Despite what she might think, he did not have a great time in the cage flirting with Soundwave. He spent months alone with only the call of the sky to make him mad and a string of autobot sent to taunt him. That’s without mentioning the torturing.
He was so absorbed in his brooding he didn’t hear the visor power up behind him and nearly jumped out of his frame when Soundwave spoke. His restraint was mostly thanks to the fact that he didn’t want to send everyone flying off the berth because he got spooked. Especially Ravage.
Closing his optics, Starscream rested his helm against his sparkling’s, hugging her tight.
“Yes… It’s true.”
The Seeker focused on the hum of the femme’s engine, doing his best not to relive all the moment his spark had been wrenched out of his frame and-
“I… I need energon…”
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Post by Soundwave on Jun 27, 2023 1:14:32 GMT
It was true..
How had Starscream even obtained such a power? Such a curse? No wonder he had been so careless when it came to his plans to try and thwart Megatron and usurp him, but at what cost? Surely if he could not die he could still feel the pain, right? It was a thought that didn't sit well with Soundwave, but he didn't want to ask either. Just watching the seeker clutch his kin closely to him as he was made it clear that Starscream was uncomfortable and possibly on the verge of panicking again. It would be best if the subject was dropped, but if the former air commander wished to continue the subject for their sakes the spymaster would not stop him. It was his choice after all..
Still, Starscream was in need of energon and it would not have surprised Soundwave if Nightshroud needed it too. He didn't want to ask while she was calming down from her own breakdown, but he didn't want to completely disregard the femme either. That would only anger the other mech if he noticed it happening too much, and Soundwave wanted to do what he could to try and earn the femme's trust. He still didn't know much about her and there was still some level of hesitancy, but he wanted to make that effort for Starscream's sake. Soundwave shifted in the berth a bit, sitting up before looking down at the two. Ravage immediately hopped off the berth, gazing up at Soundwave.
"I shall fetch the energon and let you two have a moment alone. Does this sound good?"
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Post by Nightshroud on Jun 27, 2023 1:27:24 GMT
As stressed as Starscream was, it certainly helped to make her feel better when he pulled her closer; pressing his helm against hers. Nightshroud's engines purred softly at the closeness, letting out a pleased hum as a smile came forth. She desperately needed this, and she felt like maybe Starscream did too. They'd been apart for so long, and she didn't dare ask what hell GHOST and the Autobots put him through. They'd been through enough and right now it was about trying to repair the damage that had been dealt to them. The crimson seeker tightened her hold on her adoptive sire as best she could, very carefully nuzzling the other's helm. She didn't want to let him go.
She couldn't let him go.
It didn't bother her that Soundwave seemed so surprised by Starscream's apparently immortality, though she did feel somewhat annoyed that he was preparing to fetch energon. Was he only getting the energon for himself and Starscream? Was he doing it to show her up? Either way she couldn't do much with her arm pinned under Starscream, but she was more than content to stay in her little safe space. Nightshroud was only just starting to feel safe again and she didn't want that ripped away from her so soon. She knew her sire wanted her to try and get along with the spymaster and his annoying bunch of minis, but the femme was starting to grow too tired to care at the moment. Softly she yawned, staying close to the other seeker. That lack of recharge despite her earlier nap was starting to catch up with her.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2023 1:51:11 GMT
Starscream was more than content in this makeshift nest, with mechs on each sides and on top of him. When Soundwave moved, he not only lost the reassuring idling of his engines, but Ravage also hopped off. Since the offer to fetch energon was a good enough excuse to leave some time with his sparkling, Starscream nodded. With an ex-vent, he slowly sat up, stretching his wings and arms.
[Soundwave] <<Thank you beloved.>>
After the quick comm was sent, he looked down, soft smile playing on his lips, gently poking Nightshroud.
“You also need energon. Sit up, I’ll take care of your wings. They must be in such a state.”
He tsked and shook his helm with more fondness than he’d want to admit. With a few scoots backwards, the seeker wings were resting against the wall, pedes poking the sparkling.
[‘Ping’ ] [Nightshroud: Trine.]
“I’ll let you rest after preening and fueling.”
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Post by Nightshroud on Jul 3, 2023 1:16:37 GMT
Knowing that Soundwave was leaving, even if for a brief moment, certainly helped to relax Nightshroud as she pressed herself into her sire. However as he shifted into a seated position, the crimson seeker made a soft, startled sound as she was forced to let go. She wasn't prepared to do that by any means, but she imagined Starscream wouldn't have been too excited about trying to sit up with his adopted sparkling clinging to him. Nightshroud continued to lie on the makeshift berth, glancing up at the mech just in time to notice him poke her earning him a small giggle.
He'd wanted to tend to her wings again, and that brought about a smile.
"Of course~. I would never say no to preening."
The light poke of Starscream's pede made the femme weakly chuckle a bit more as she pushed herself up, turning away from her sire so he could have ample room to work. Just the preening he'd done earlier wouldn't have been enough to bring Nightshroud's wings back to optimal, but a second round would definitely help. Her wings felt so stiff and achy, and the panic she'd dealt with for the last few hours certainly had not helped things in the least. The joints and cables had taken a fair amount of abuse between the lack of care and that day that she'd nearly frozen to death chasing after Mire. They were in desperate need of gentle care, and a hot oil bath would be a godsend at this point. The femme let her optics close, waiting for her sire to get started.
There was something else on her mind though, planted into her processor by Starscream: that unwanted feeling of regret when it came to Clematis. He'd gone back for her, so he must have talked to her, right? "Do.. you think she hates me?"
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Post by Soundwave on Jul 3, 2023 2:26:23 GMT
Soundwave was more than happy to give Starscream that time alone with Nightshroud. Even though they had talked as he had hoped given the events that had transpired, he still wanted to make sure that they had time alone. The former Second in Command was the one that had told him to begin with that the young femme likely would not trust him so easily, and the best way to earn the trust of someone like that was to give them the space they needed. Either way, Starscream needed energon and the spymaster was not about to let the seeker get it himself when he was as exhausted as he was.
Starscream needed the rest, but he did smile to himself when that comm was received.
<<"Acknowledged, my silly little rabbit.">>
The blue mech continued to listen in as the two seekers continued to talk, walking out of the berth room to where the energon was stashed for easy access. As he walked, Ravage tagged alongside the mech. The Cassetticon growled at the spymaster, drawing his attention away for a moment. It didn't take much for Soundwave to figure what Ravage was trying to say.
'Just how long do you plan to keep up this act.'
"It is no act, Ravage." Soundwave sighed to himself, talking softly so there wasn't a chance that the others would overhear. "This is how things are going to be now, Ravage. They are now family as much as you, Frenzy and Laserbeak are. You may not trust them, but I assure you the young femme does not trust you either." Trust would be built over time. That Soundwave was certain of.
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