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Post by Clematis on Oct 12, 2023 19:26:56 GMT
Hot Rod congratulated Clematis for her victory, but he didn’t seem to understand why she wasn’t as excited about her win. She quietly whined, glancing away for a moment but returning her gaze to her boyfriend when he agreed to talk. Thank Primus for that, plus he seemed a little calmer now.
”Mkay.” Clematis walked a little slowly finding an area that was a little more quiet. She didn’t say anything right away, wanting to wait until there was a little more private to talk.
”The reason I wasn’t as excited about winning is because you snapped at me when all I was trying to do was help.” The azure and lilac femme kept waking, but turned her helm to look at Hot Rod sadly. “Why did you let that game get to you so badly? Is.. winning all that matters?”
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Post by Hot Rod on Oct 12, 2023 19:37:49 GMT
Hot Rod had to think about it for a moment.
"...No. It's not the only thing. It's just..." he didn't know how to describe it. "...It's just up there" he finally said.
"Ever since I was a protoform I trained to win. And I wasn't gonna let anything stop me. Winning was the thing that kept me going."
"Losing...I don't know what to do with losing."
When you devoted your whole life, your whole ego to competition it was hard to handle losing.
"And the Autobots didn't exactly dissuade that notion when I joined them. Winning meant saving lives. Losing... Losing meant.." he couldn't even say it.
He remembered his guilt for not being there when Praxus fell. He remembered all the friends he lost because he wasn't fast enough, because he didn't fight hard enough, because he made a mistake.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you..." Hot Rod said. He meant it too. Clematis was amazing.
She didn't deserve a boyfriend who snapped at her.
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Post by Clematis on Oct 12, 2023 19:54:28 GMT
So that’s what it was.
It wasn’t that Hot Rod wanted to win, but that he felt that he had to; that there simply was no other option. Between his life as a racer and the war, it had left such an impact on him. Just his implication at the end said so much. To him he saw losing as the absolute worst thing akin to losing the life of someone he was trying to save.
”Oh Roddy..” Clematis looked to him empathetically, leaning in to hug him carefully.
This is why Clematis didn’t want to hate anyone. No one knew what someone else was going through, and this was same thing. Hot Rod was experiencing trauma from the war, and for him it came in the form of losing.
”Thank you for telling me that. It’s okay. I forgive you. I promise I’m not mad at you and this doesn’t change how I feel. I’d.. be more than happy to help you if you want me to. The games here aren’t about winning and losing, but they’re about having fun and having a good time.” She smiled sadly, looking up at her boyfriend. “How about this. Why don’t we skip the games for now and do something else. We can always play games and work on your win and lose thing another time. Why don’t.. we spend the rest of our time just enjoying each other?”
The azure and lilac femme hummed thoughtfully to herself. “They have rides here too, but those are meant for the humans. Do.. you have a holoform by chance?”
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Post by Hot Rod on Oct 12, 2023 21:40:10 GMT
As Clematis hugged Hot Rod he returned it.
She didn't hate him. She didn't think he was a jerk because he liked winning. She understood.
"I'm sorry..." Hot Rod said. It wasn't clear if he was saying it to Clematis or someone else. Or maybe it was both.
"I'll work on it" he promised. He meant it too. It would be hard. He might not get it right away. Maybe he'd have another outburst. But he'd work on it.
Hot Rod didn't wanna skip the games. As much as he hated losing he still loved to compete. He didn't wanna hurt Clematis's feelings again though.
"Yeah...let's just spend some time enjoying each other"he agreed but there was a trace of reluctance in his voice.
When Clematis asked him if he had a holoform. "Sure do" Hot Rod answered. He extended his arm and his holomatter avatar displayed in front of him. He had a red vest similar to Marty Mcfly's from Back to the Future but his hair was slicked back and he was wearing a nice pair of sunglasses.
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Post by Clematis on Oct 13, 2023 0:24:33 GMT
"It's alright, Roddy~. You don't have to apologize. Everything's okay."
Hot Rod had already apologized, and Clematis had already forgiven him. She didn't know what he was still apologizing for but she wasn't mad at him. Everyone had their bad moments and he'd realized he was in the wrong, right? At least he was willing to work on his traumas which was good enough for her. "That's all I could ask for. I don't think I could be mad at you for something like this. I mean.. look at all the things that have happened with my sister yet I still love her unconditionally. You can't help that something like a little competition got to you like that. A little competition is healthy, but to focus only on winning isn't. If you win all the time, how can you grow stronger?"
Clematis smiled reassuringly, though she couldn't help but hear that small trace of reluctance in her boyfriend's voice. Was he still upset over what happened? True it had hurt her feelings and embarrassed her somewhat, but everyone had their moments. She was more than patient and willing to help Hot Rod with whatever he needed, but it was nice to hear that he did have a holoform when she asked. She watched as he displayed it, giggling a little at it's attire. "Oh that is so like you. I love it." Following suit Clematis allowed her own holoform to materialize. Before her stood a young adult woman with long, wavy dark brown hair wearing a thin, ribbed long sleeve lavender shirt and shredded light blue jeans along with a pair of black ankle high boots.
"Since they're made of hard light and they can go pretty far from our own bodies, we can park somewhere and ride on the human rides through them~. No one would even know the difference until they tried to touch us or something. Then it might be a little more obvious." Clematis chuckled, letting her holoform disappear as she spoke. "But we don't have to just do rides. I wanna do things that you wanna do too." Leaning forward Clematis kissed Hot Rod on the cheek once more.
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Post by Hot Rod on Oct 13, 2023 0:34:00 GMT
"I don't wanna grow stronger." Hot Rod admitted. "I just wanna be strong enough to handle anything"
Still, Clem's idea of seeing things from a human perspective was a good one.
"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea" Hot Rod said. He blushed after Clematis kissed him.
After they made their plans on what to do next Hot Rod found a good space and transformed into his Dodge Viper vehicle mode.
His holomatter avatar extended his hand towards Clem. "Where too first?" he asked.
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Post by Clematis on Oct 13, 2023 10:19:49 GMT
So Hot Rod just wanted to be good enough in the end. That was an admirable goal in the end, and Clematis had no doubt that he was strong enough to handle anything that came his way if he put his mind to it. There was no way to prepare for events to come because you just couldn't predict the future. You could train all you wanted, only for the future to bring something completely unexpected and all that training went to waste. Still, he had been brave enough to ask the azure and lilac femme out on a date just a few months ago, and he'd seemed pretty nervous just asking that. If he could push through his nerves like that, imagine what else he was capable of.
Clematis smiled brightly after she kissed her boyfriend on the cheek, more than happily following alongside him as the two of them found a place to park. Once she transformed back into her Nissan 370z alt-mode, she let her holoform respawn as she took Hot Rod's definitely real human hand into hers when offered.
"Hmm.. Maybe something tame first? Humans have rides of all kinds from just simple ferris wheels to rides they call thrill rides like roller coasters. Maybe the ferris wheel first? We could get a good view of the whole festival from there." And have a whole gondola all to themselves~.
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Post by Hot Rod on Oct 13, 2023 18:02:10 GMT
"Yeah, sure. Great idea" Hot Rod agreed.
As they walked to the Ferris wheel he looked a bit nervous though.
"Never used my holoform for this kind of thing before" he admitted.
As they arrived at the Ferris wheel the line was long. Hot Rod was tapping his holographic foot over and over again.
"Welp. Now I know why I never did. The lines suck..."He muttered.
When it was finally their turn Hot Rod sat down and gave Clematis just enough room to slide beside him.
As they ascended up in the gondola he made sure to put his arm around her..,
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Post by Clematis on Oct 14, 2023 0:18:36 GMT
Clematis smiled at Hot Rod's holoform, holding onto his hand as the two made their way to the ferris wheel. "It's okay. I've never done this myself either, but I've heard bots like to do this sort of thing all the time." It wouldn't be too difficult right?
The line.. said otherwise. It was a bit of a wait especially when the ferris wheel would only stop so often to let passengers off so others could climb aboard. Once the ride stopped the line moved a fair bit, but then it would stop again and they'd all be left waiting as the humans ahead of and behind them yammered on about various topics. Poor Hot Rod was starting to get impatient which was understandable. Clematis couldn't wait to get on the ride either and she hadn't expected that it would take so long to get on. She giggled at her boyfriend's muttering, leaning up against him. "It's alright. At least we're waiting together, and there's no one else I'd rather wait in a long line with~."
Before they knew it the ride stopped once more letting another group of passengers off, and it was finally their time to get on the ride. Clematis slid right on into the gondola right beside Hot Rod, blushing a little at the closeness though she looked at him fondly. They sat there together for a hot minute as the ride handlers worked on securing everyone and soon enough the ferris wheel began to ascend. Her blush only deepened as Hot Rod wrapped an arm around her, snuggling up against her boyfriend as she rested her head against his shoulder. Clematis sighed contently, smiling brightly.
"The wait might have been long, but.. I'm glad we picked this ride. It's nice and relaxing. Comfy, too~."
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Post by Hot Rod on Oct 14, 2023 1:15:14 GMT
"I'm glad too." Hot Rod said.
He waited til the Ferris Wheel was at the very top and he kissed Clematis. Even though he was projecting through a hologram right now the kiss still felt sweet.
When they disengaged Hot Rod looked over the vast dark landscape. There wasn't much to see. Just the small town plus the Distant Autobot city.
"The view at our special cliffside is better," he remarked.
Man when did he get so sappy? He needed some action soon at some point.
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Post by Clematis on Oct 14, 2023 2:10:54 GMT
'Round and around and around they went on the ferris wheel, Clematis enjoying the view though as she snuggled up against Hot Rod. Even in holoform she felt so comfortable and relaxed, smiling up at her boyfriend as the ride finally came to a halt to let the next group of passengers off. There they were at the very top of the ferris wheel without a care in the world. Clematis more than happily kissed Hot Rod back, holoform bright red in the face from all the blushing she was doing though it was a little harder to tell in the dim lighting around the festival.
She continued to snuggle up to Hot Rod, listening to his comments about how their little spot had a much better view. Clematis couldn't help but giggle. "Our special cliffside is the best spot around."
Looking back up to Hot Rod, she smiled brightly. "And wanna know why? Because it's our spot. Our special little place where we can be alone and share all of our deepest darkest secrets." Humming to herself thoughtfully, she debated on whether she wanted to say what was on her mind while the next round of passenger's boarded the ferris wheel. There was still a little bit of time before they were all secured in and they'd be moving again. "I, um.." Primus why was she getting so flustered now?! "Hot Rod, I.. I think I love you. No, I.. I do. I do love you. I want you to know that. I.. I know it's only been a few months, but I can't get you off my processor at all. I really enjoy spending time with you no matter what we do, and uhh.. you make me happy. So.. so happy. I'm really glad you randomly asked me out on that date."
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Post by Hot Rod on Oct 14, 2023 2:22:34 GMT
Hot Rod was a little taken aback. He wasn't sure what to think.
He was sure he loved Clematis too of course but she still felt that way?
"Really?" Hot Rod asked quietly. "You feel that way? Even after that outburst earlier?"
"I just wanna make sure we're not taking this too fast..."
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Post by Clematis on Oct 14, 2023 15:10:19 GMT
Hot Rod was still so worried about his meltdown, wasn't he? With a sympathetic look, Clematis took his hand into her own.
"Even after that. You already apologized for that and I forgave you. Everyone has their moments; make mistakes. As long as we work on bettering ourselves that's what really counts, right? Everyone deserves a second chance. Sometimes.. even a third." Even the Decepticons, but Clematis chose to leave that part out. This wasn't about the Autobots and the Decepticons right now. This was about herself and her boyfriend. "You have your things to work through, and I have mine. You already opened my optics to the fact that I need to start living my own life and not wasting it focusing on how to make my sister's better. I don't want to rush things by any means, but I can't help how I feel either."
As the passengers at the bottom of the ferris wheel were being secured into their respective gondolas, Clematis rubbed her thumb along the back of Hot Rod's hand. It was relaxing even in this form, but she wanted to show the little ways in which she cared too. "I really like you. You're fun and you care. You care so much.. Sure you can get overly competitive, but you know how to live life in the fast lane; to take risks that I would never have dared to try before. I'm not asking that we take things fast all the time. I want to take things at our own pace and when we're ready for the next step, if we even wanna take the next step.. then we'll cross that line together. That.. is if you feel the same way."
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Post by Hot Rod on Oct 14, 2023 16:02:29 GMT
Hot Rod was silent for a bit.
"Yes. I feel the same way. I love how gentle you are. How you make me feel comfortable. How you help me slow down and enjoy life."
"I love you too" he said softly.
And he kissed her again.
Yeah. He was gonna ask her to be his Conjunx Endura.
But he wanted to do it when they weren't in holoform. Something as special as that needed to be in their real forms.
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Post by Clematis on Oct 16, 2023 12:49:28 GMT
Clematis couldn't help but smile, looking lovingly into Hot Rod's holoform's eyes. True she was gentle, but that was also her own weakness at the same time. She didn't get mad. She believed in giving anyone a second chance even those who probably didn't deserve it, but it was times like this where it counted. Hot Rod did deserve that second chance, and Clematis barely even called it a second chance at that. The blowup had been a minor hiccup in their date, and they'd made things up so quickly that it was all water under the bridge.
But to hear him say that he loved her too? That was special.
Something that would take some getting used to to hear, but she already liked that as she kissed her boyfriend back.
The azure and lilac femme kept smiling after they disengaged; the ride starting back up as it went around just a few more times. She was quite happy with how things were right now, but maybe one day if things played out just right maybe Hot Rod could be her Conjunx. Just the mere thought of it caused her face to burn red. Her? Someone's Conjunx? It seemed like a mere fantasy, but maybe one day. It didn't hurt to dream a little. Just when you dwelled on those dreams for a little too long.
The ferris wheel began to slow as they reached the bottom, coming to a full stop before the gondolas opened up. As nice as it was the ride was over and it was time to get off of it. Clematis scooted off the ride first but held out her hand for Hot Rod. "What do you wanna do next? I got to pick the last two, so now it's your turn. I want to do whatever you want to do." Whether that be another ride, another attempt at the games or even trying out one of the attractions like the fun house.
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